John and I really want to move somewhere before we start procreating. We just want to experience something different for a little while. I feel like once we have kids, we won't be doing a lot of moving! I was recently thinking of all the things I would want in a town, if I could choose. This is the list of things..
1.
Trader Joe's: healthy, organic food at a good price. Why wouldn't that be on my list?
2.
Whole Foods: because I won't get everything at Trader Joe's and this is the next awesomest thing.
3. A
gym where I can work out next to older people and not 30-year-old guys clearly on steroids, drinking a protein shake, trying to impress all the 18-year-old girls that read a magazine on the elliptical for 3 hours.
4. Some place with people that
aren't crazy liberal or crazy conservative. I don't want to go the grocery store and hear about how the president is screwing up our country or to the farmer's market and hear about pro-abortion rallies. Or hear my patient talking about how bad the hospital is and saying, "well, I guess I'm getting a taste of Obamacare." Because that let's me know that you have no idea what you're talking about and I feel like I'm drowning in a room of awkwardness and don't know how to surface.
5. Somewhere with a
legit hospital. I gotta work, ya know.
6. Somewhere with a
great church, but without the overly-enthusiastic worship leader-guy that's always smiling. Always. I know you love God, but are you really that excited.. like, all the time?
7. A
college town. I love living in a college town, people from literally everywhere live in CU. I love meeting new people with completely different backgrounds. Plus, I get used to the students being here in the fall, winter, and spring, so I have something to look forward to in the summer... you know, not almost hitting a pedestrian on their cell phone walking in the middle of the street who then flicks me off.
8. A place with an
airport that's not real small. John and I are trying to step up our travel-game.
9. Somewhere with a pizza place almost as good as
Papa Del's. It doesn't have to be as good because, come on, we all know that's not real.
10.
Rita's: because I know Rita's is in heaven, and therefore I want to be as close to heaven as possible.
11.
IKEA: although sometimes I think I should live as far away from one as possible so that I don't go broke in 4 months.
12. Some place
WARM. I don't want to need a snow blower. I would like a white Christmas, but not a 17-below zero Christmas.
13. Some place with something
historical or somewhere within driving distance of some place kinda cool. I like history, but here's only so many times you can go to Lincoln's tomb.
So, if you will kindly Google all of these things for me and get back to me with a list of potential places, I'd appreciate that. Just not Chicago. I think literally all of those things, except the winter and Rita's thing, are in or around Chicago. No offense, Chicago is cool, but it's the last place I want to live. I get too stressed around there. I hate the traffic of the burbs, getting around the city, the cost of living, and just how busy it all is. I enjoy a good visit, but not having my address there. I expect a spreadsheet with places, cost of living, distance, population, and the percentage of my preferences that each place meets. You have two hours.