What I've Learned About Men Since Getting Married:
1. You never know how many pairs of underwear a man actually owns until you move up his laundry for him and it consists of 43 pairs of underwear (that he has owned from anywhere from 3 months to 12 years) along with four undershirts.
2. That they don't know what a pumice stone is and you should probably explain what it is before you leave it in the shower and they ask what that hard bar of soap is for.
3. That you should never ask if a man needs something before you buy it. Observe and just purchase because he'll say he doesn't need it, when in actuality he'll use it every single day.
4. There is a fine line between nagging and "suggesting."
5. Holidays will not work themselves out; the woman will always, always coordinate it.
6. Calendars are futile efforts.
7. When men plan a get together, they are much more particular about the food than when women plan one and just ask the guy to be present.
8. They secretly love it when you tell them they're handsome.
9. It's okay to swish your butt a little when you know they're watching.
10. When in doubt: wings from B-Dubs, Pacifico beer, and the NBA channel never fail.
11. When in even more doubt, just make something his mom used to make.
12. Do all of your rearranging and major cleaning when he is gone all day. The momentary disorganization is overwhelming for them. And they feel like they need to help so they just want to give their opinion on where things would be, which is just crazyness.
13. Attempt to get ready to go out for a date night or out with friends without them seeing until you're all done. It amps up the "wow, my wife is hot" factor when they see you all dolled up for the first time of the night.
14. There is a certain blind spot in a man's vision, it makes them completely incapable of seeing where the lint trap is on the dryer, and therefore renders it impossible for them to empty it.
